July noon

parked cars in bright mid-day sunshine

Cars crouch low, jealous
of their shadows

A swallowtail dallies
among flower-bright trash

Wasps crawl terraza tables
where frosted glasses stood

Stray dogs sprawl
laughing in the heat

The city trembles

Author: don't confuse the narrator

Exploring the boundary between writer and narrator through first person poetry, prose and opinion

2 thoughts on “July noon”

  1. If the frosted glasses have been taken away, what’s left to interest the wasps? The line also implies a level of human activity that doesn’t fit the theme of the poem or the photograph.

    The laughing dogs are a cliché. They might be better as grinning dogs, because then the cliché would be promoted to a Biblical reference.

    So you might consider changing “stood” to “stand” and “laughing” to “grinning”. Otherwise, this has the makings of a fine poem.


    1. Frosted glasses leave small puddles of water and the wasps are more interested in that than in the beer. (They’ll hover around footprints left on the edge of the swimming pool, and are attracted by sweat, too, but I have seen that poem already written by someone else.)
      The photograph is mostly there because a blog post needs a photo, not because it is particularly illustrative of more than one of the thoughts. In fact, the jealous cars I first observed were in a queue of traffic, not parked.
      I thought the colourful trash was, like the glasses, an indication that there were people who have been driven away by the heat, so there was human activity very recently.
      The laughing dogs were stolen from a haiku/fragment written ~20 years ago. They were probably a cliché then, too, but grinning doesn’t quite capture the panting as well as the bared teeth and lolling tongue.

      Thanks for commenting. I’m delighted you think there is a poem to be found here (even if not yet). I didn’t think it was more than a couple of disconnected images, and mostly posted it as I didn’t want to lose the cars. I will see if I can gather some more images, but I don’t think there will ever be much of a narrative to this piece. (Not necessarily a problem, just an observation.)


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