on target

I’m not at all sure that I like targeted ads and automatic sign-ups to mailing lists when you buy from a website; I may have nothing to hide, but I don’t like the idea of my emails being read and of organisations – public or private – keeping tabs on me.

Sometimes the ads and mail outs are so wildly off-course that they are funny, but on occasions it’s uncanny how well they seem to know you. An email in my inbox this morning makes me suspect that Big Brother is watching me personally:

amazon targeted mail ("as you've shown an interest in books...")
It’s absolutely true: I have “shown an interest in books.”

I don’t think that can possibly be true of a few million other people whose email addresses are on record with Amazon, can it?
 

dazzle

It’s a grey day outside my window, so to brighten it up, here’s a photo taken a few days ago in South Wales on a small patch of land that had been seeded specifically to encourage pollinators:

cornflower

On reflection, since cornflower is a natural herb used to brighten grey hair, I’ve just realised this is far more appropriate than I had intended.

(And the post title was chosen as a subliminal reminder of the old “blue whitener” detergent ads.)

it’s unique

A couple of days ago, I travelled on an Iberia flight for the first time in years. It was a little more up-market than the discount airlines I’ve flown with recently and even in tourist class those who bought snacks from the trolley were provided with individual place mats for the fold-down tables.

When I declined to give mine up as rubbish, I suppose the steward thought I wanted a souvenir. In fact I wanted to add it to my collection of bad advertising and extraneous apostrophes.

Coke ad text: Enjoy it's unique taste, hydration is already included
I can’t believe that Coca Cola and Iberia can’t afford to pay a proof reader, so maybe I’ll send off my CV on spec as they appear to have a vacancy.

no joke

One more post prompted by my trip to Madrid this week: at metro Bilbao, my attention was caught by this advert:

yommana thai concept advert
There has to be a joke there somewhere, but “Yo momma is una auténtica terapeuta tailandesa – a real Thai masseuse” just doesn’t seem to work.
Continue reading “no joke”

tooth in advertising

Having suffered at the hands of the dentist yesterday – and I do suffer, with the only consolation that, as a writer, I may later find it useful to know what it feels like to have hysterics – I was glad to see that the old Especialidades Juanse tiles are still in place in Madrid’s Malasaña district.old tile adverts, (especialidades juanse), Madrid
Continue reading “tooth in advertising”

serious relations

I don’t have many relations. Certainly not many I am on speaking terms with. But some of those I do speak to, probably count as ‘serious’ people.

I was pleased, then, to find this advert brought up on my gmail account recently:

"verified ladies" for "serious relations"
I’m sure that if I were to want to give any of my serious relations an Asian beauty as a gift, they would rather the lady were verified than not.

But what should I get for the more light-hearted members of my family?
 

dressing it up

Still with telephones – or, more accurately, still in search of phone and internet connections while travelling – I happened upon this:

About Telefónica: We open new pathways in order to continue transforming possibilities into reality, with the objective of creating values for our costumers, employees, society, shareholders, and partners globally.

In the same way that BT is ‘affectionately’ known as British Telecon, the Spanish company Telefónica is frequently called Timofónica. Perhaps this mission statement from their website explains it: instead of spending money on customer service, it’s going towards ‘creating values for [their] costumers’.

Perhaps someone should tell them that dressing it up nicely won’t help if the basic service is a pig’s ear.